Ladu Lazarus, Sylvia Plath

“Ash, ash—
You poke and stir.
Flesh, bone, there is nothing there——

A cake of soap,   
A wedding ring,   
A gold filling.

Herr God, Herr Lucifer   
Beware
Beware.

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair   
And I eat men like air.”

There’s much to be said about a band who bases their name off of a Sylvia Plath poem. Eating men like air, formally red-haired Chloe Gallardo discusses the DIY nature of her latest project, Herr God with us. Chloe and I (also Chloe) virtually sat in front of each other in this latest interview, one of us in a SoCal college radio station and the other in the depths of the sprawling sphere of Portland. Other than being gifted the same names, I learned that Gallardo and I had a lot in common: scribbling down thoughts in our Notes app, scanning media with junk we can find around us, and vomiting our thoughts onto paper in forms of lyrics and more. It was healing to talk to what was like a version of myself placed in a different reality where I was a girl and a performer, but Chloe is her own person pioneering her own path. She grasps onto thoughts and feelings, making art from her diary that others can relate to.

We enjoyed each other’s company during our interview, which you can read below!

This interview was conducted by Chloe Gonzales (DJ Adderall Spritz) in studio at SoCal college radio and has been edited for length and clarity.

Chloe Gonzales: Honestly, I just want to dive right in, because I’m very interested in your project! I was reading up a little bit about it and it was so interesting because you all drew your name from a poem by Sylvia Plath [Lady Lazarus].

Chloe of Herr God: It’s funny, because my grandma got me this poetry book for Christmas, and I was flipping through it before I had even started the band, and I  wrote down Herr God. I liked how it looked on paper, so I was like, “Oh, that’s cool,” like, “I’m gonna save that for something later.” And then when I decided to start the band, I was looking through the list of the names that I had made, and I found that one, and I was like, “Oh, that’s kind of cool. I think I’m gonna use that.” And then a couple months later, I had dyed my hair red, and then I realized that the last stanza of the poem talks about having red hair. So it was like, kind of not on purpose, but now I can never change my hair back to normal.

CG: I think every person’s got to have red hair, at least non-men. People tell me that like means that like you’re crazy or something, or like, you’re going through something. Are you mentally ill? Yeah, it’s real, honestly. Unfortunately, it is kind of true, at least from personal experience. I get it. But before we fully dive in, I always like to have bands and artists give the opportunity to give a little elevator pitch and just spill out whatever you want to say about the band. I want to hear everything from you. 

Herr God: Yeah, we’re pretty brand new. I started the project less than a year ago when I was living in San Francisco. I wrote some demos, showed them to one of my friends that lives in Philadelphia, went out and recorded in Philly. And then after I had those recorded, I threw a band together, and that was Herr God 1.0 and then we’ve had a few variations of the band since. When I moved to Portland, I was just like, “Okay, I’m gonna put together the final boss mode of this band.” Like I’m done teaching people how to play the songs every single gig that I have, and for this to be more of a collaborative band, rather than just me doing it. One of the reasons I moved to Portland was because the music scene here is really awesome, and I feel like I really identify with it, and also, the people here are just so, so talented. I’m just lucky enough to be friends with a lot of my favorite local bands here, and so one of them agreed to be in my band with me, and I actually live with two of my bandmates. My other really good friend lives three minutes away and he’s the fourth member of the band. So it worked out really nicely.

CG: Your latest release is your EP, “Grief and Calamity”. Could you walk us through the concept of it?

Herr God: Yeah, it started off as weird little demos that I was trying to prove to myself that I could write all of the parts of a song, rather than just lyrics and guitar. I made all the demos myself and then replicated the exact same thing in the studio. I’d say it’s more of an independent, “I can do this” kind of project. “Grief and Calamity” is sort of alluding back to the healing process of me moving away from my home in Southern California and starting fresh, then realizing that I have free will and can move wherever–don’t need anybody.

CG: That’s so vulnerable! You talk about having very personal lyrics and songwriting. I also know that you have your own project. How do you differentiate Herr God from your own music?

Herr God: I honestly made Herr God to kind of get away from my solo project and I definitely identify more with Herr God than my other project. I mean I made that project when I was like 17 or 18 and I put out my first songs not knowing how releasing music worked. I was fresh out of high school, if not a senior in high school. It was just one of those things where I thought only my family on Facebook was gonna listen to it and so I just put it under my name because I was conditioned from school to put my first and last name on a project. And then it kind of snowballed into something bigger than just my Facebook family seeing it. And then I realized that I was kind of stuck with my name, which there’s nothing wrong with that, but I also wished the whole time that I had a band name rather than just my name.

It’s hard to book shows when you are a female solo act, venues are less inclined really. In my experience they’re like. “Oh, you’re just a sad singer-songwriter,” which there’s nothing wrong with that but for me, applying for the bills that I was applying for, it didn’t really make sense. Also, all my projects under my name were heavily collaborative with others to the point where I wrote the songs but also didn’t really fully identify with them as much as I did originally. Herr God is like a full DIY, it’s all me. I’m making all the creative decisions, or at least the first project that I put out, and have the actual band with me to bounce ideas off of. It’s like equally collaborative instead of having a session player come in and play a guitar part and then I never see them again.

CG: It’s nice to be able to build that community and friendship amongst your band members. It’s so interesting that you say that your first project with your name isn’t as much of you as Herr God is, that dissociation with that being like “Oh this is me but also not me.” Because usually when people use their personal names and such, there’s the opposite situation where you’ve been through band names but now you use your own name to be like, “This is really who I am.”

Herr God: Yeah totally, I feel like I did it in reverse a little bit. But I think it would’ve been the same if I had started with a band name. I think it’s just because I started so long ago, trying to find myself in the music world. So it’s more of the project itself, not even my name, like all those songs are so old. Also, when you make music or any kind of art, you always like your newest project the best and think your old stuff is garbage. It’s one of those things where I just really don’t identify with the person that I was when I put those songs out. I feel like I wouldn’t be where I am now without that project though. It’s just a weird thing to navigate because I learned basically everything that I don’t want to do. I was able to jump start this project and do everything the way I wanted to do it and so it was kind of a learning experience. Obviously those songs are a part of me, but I definitely am in the direction that I want to be in now with this current project.

CG; That’s amazing that you’re able to find that though and be secure in it! I also wanted to ask if there’s anything from the recent EP that you want to expand on in your upcoming works, like a certain sound, thematics, lyrics, or anything else.

Herr God: The weird song names are definitely going to carry over.

CG: I was hoping for that!

Herr God: I think that’s just kind of funny, for it not to be anything about the actual song and it just be weird, like “jesus candle in the liquor store,” I went into the liquor store and saw a Jesus candle and was like, “That would be funny for a song name or poem.” And so I have this list of stuff that I could potentially use. So they [song titles] don’t mean anything. I think we have a couple of newer songs coming out that have weird names as well. But I think as far as the sound, it’s going to be pretty similar, maybe a bit heavier if anything. We should have a couple of new songs coming out by the summer, which is exciting!

CG: I am obsessed with your names and I think it fits into the crowd that you’re catering to. I guess you aren’t really catering to anyone, but I feel like there’s a good group among Gen Z that have this weird obsession with things like teeth, dolls, and religion. It reminds me of the midwest, so it’s interesting because you’re from southern California. Is there a scene that has this kind of vibe?

Herr God: I don’t know. I don’t want to say no, but actually there is religious stuff. I grew up Catholic, Christian and it did a number on me in a not super positive way. And so I think it’s all satire and probably disrespectful, but it’s my own coping mechanism. I think religious artwork is so beautiful and it bums me out that I have a negative association with the religion itself. My room at my house is decked out in pictures of Jesus and rosaries and stuff. It’s kind of a weird thing that I have adapted into my life.

CG: I can totally understand that. Talking about religious imagery, your visuals, for example “jesus candle in the liquor store” single has scanner, print stuff. I find your aesthetic so interesting and cool. Like on Instagram and everything it seems so random but it comes together so cleanly. Is it just whatever comes to your mind?

Herr God: It’s not on purpose. The single artwork you’re talking about, I have this really crappy scanner and I found this photo that was like this old book of different flowers. I would throw stuff on the scanner and move it around while it was scanning and some of them turned out cool. And I zoomed in really close on a lot of them and that’s how I made the single artwork and the EP cover as well. It’s all just weird scanner stuff.

CG: That’s amazing. And honestly that’s the best, like it never has to be high production like we saw with “Brat.” I’m glad we’re coming to something more like mixed media, crafty in this era.

Herr God: I think it also comes down to like waiting. I hate waiting and paying for things. I’m such an instant gratification type of person so I will usually try to do things myself before I ask for help. That was another thing that I learned from my last project where I was being given a lot of advice to go to different professionals for artwork and stuff. I think that’s really cool, but sometimes you just don’t have the budget for that. And those people have a million things that they’re doing and there’s a long turnaround. The purpose of the first EP that I released for this [Herr God], I wanted it to be all myself and just all on my own terms. So it was kind of crazy when I got the masters back and was like, “Oh, I can upload these today.” Like I don’t have to wait for anybody. It was more of a thing where I just wanted to do it completely DIY and it ended up being kind of cool. I don’t really know what we’re gonna do for this upcoming release because I’m working on a collaboration with another band and so we’re kind of collaborating. I think it’s gonna be like some photo that I have and some photo that they have and combine them in some way.

CG: Yes, put them on Photoshop and do a little mix around with it. That’s the fun part. Okay, we kind of touched on this earlier, but you spoke about being independent and doing stuff yourself. How does that work with the group dynamic, with the band?

Herr God: I guess we’re still navigating, like we have all these new songs and I’m recording with my guitarist and he and I have been like—things kind of come together when you’re recording them. And then he is also a graphic designer and we have very similar artistic visions. So we already click on that front. So I don’t really have to worry about visuals because everyone gets the vibe. So it’s kind of like, how do we continue that and improve upon it as a band?

CG: That’s really nice that you all are kind of on the same wavelength!

Herr God: Yeah, it’s the beauty of being in a band with people that you’re really good friends with, which I guess could be problematic at times but for us not yet. We’re golden.

CG: Wow, no that’s good. Enjoy the ride while you can. But how do you want to carry these visuals and aesthetics to the stage and such?

Herr God: That’s actually funny that you ask, because I just was making a projection thing for our show. I literally just took this old footage of different flowers blooming and layered it with weird color blocking, flashes of different colors, and put them on top of each other and made it a 30 minute loop. It’s just one of those things where I just mess around with something until I make it look the way that I want it to look. And there’s definitely way, way better ways to do it if I was an actual professional.

CG: If it works, it works! You don’t need anything too fancy, it stays DIY.

Herr God: I want it to look kind of bad, but like in a cool way.

CG: For sure, just like goofy visuals. It reminds me of what you said earlier with the names meaning nothing. It reminds me of Phoebe Bridgers’ “Strangers in the Alps”, which has a meaning that she got from a movie that means nothing basically. It just sounds beautiful.

Herr God: Yeah, if I like it, I like it. And then sometimes meanings come to you after you name it, like writing a song or poem and you’re like, “Oh, I wrote this. I have no idea what it means.” But then you read it later and you’re like, “That’s really weird, I feel like I just predicted my own future.” That kind of thing happens to me a lot, so I usually just like to keep things pretty simple and then see if they develop a meaning to me later and if they don’t, then they still sound cool.

CG: I totally understand that. It sounds cool and then you derive meaning from it.

Herr God: I don’t like to talk about or tell people what my songs are about for that reason. I know with my solo project that happens where people will be like “Oh, this song reminded me at this point in my life and I think it’s crazy that you wrote this because I feel like it was written about me.” And that’s like a really weird thing to hear, because I’m like writing in my diary and publishing it to the world. So it’s crazy that people actually have similar experiences and make it their own complete experience. It’s weird.

CG: That’s the beautiful thing about it! I also wanted to get into the classic band inspirations. I can hear some inspiration that are not musical, like the religious aspects and stuff. Are there any other bands or non-musical inspirations?

Herr God: Honestly, I draw most of my inspiration from my friends in the music scene, just seeing what they’re doing. And it’s not even necessarily stylistically but just doing the thing that they’re passionate about. I think that’s really inspiring. My band and I have been listening to a lot of MJ Lenderman. He has some funky lyrics that I like. I just love the way he writes. And I feel like it’s probably going to subconsciously happen where we’re like writing a song and then I come up with weird lyrics like that and it’s gonna be my new MJ Lenderman song.

CG: When you do your lyrics, is it on a whim like you write in your notes app or when you’re walking?

Herr God: Definitely a Notes app. For the EP, I sat down with GarageBand on my phone and made a little beat, little guitar, hum a melody, and then I would kind of loop it, and then just write whatever came to mind on my note. Then I would sing it and that was the final product. I don’t really ever go back to edit anything unless it sounds really bad; I like the authenticity of it being fresh off my brain and just staying that way, because it’s kind of like capturing a specific moment in time.

CG: No absolutely and capturing like those imperfections but then they turn into these little things of their own. I also wanted to ask about your songs that you gave me, any context you want to give?

Herr God: Most of the songs I sent are current rotation and our favorites at the moment. Like I can’t stop listening to the Horsegirl one. They’re like the most adorable people ever, but yeah it’s just all stuff I really love.

CG: I appreciate it, like underground artists that should be more appreciated. Hope that there’s a Horsegirl x Herr God collab.

Herr God: Weirdly enough, I have played a show with them as my solo project at The Observatory in Orange County. I was just a local opener for them but they were like the sweetest people. I love them so much.

CG: That’s amazing. Do you have any good memories from opening for other people as Herr God?

Herr God: Yeah, my favorite show that we’ve done so far was in San Francisco. We played with Deadharrie and Nick Brobak and 0Fret. And like Deadharrie and Nick Brobak were like, or still are, some of my favorite bands. So it was really cool, because I got to set up the show and then they ended up all crashing at my house. That’s like such a fun part about music in general is just making friends with people that you actually really look up to. That show was really cool. And then we also played a show, our first official Portland show was a couple of weeks ago, with a lot of cool local Portland bands. I feel like it’s just really rewarding to play with people that you admire and who inspire you.

CG: Yeah absolutely. What’s that saying, don’t meet your celebrities?

Herr God:  Don’t meet your heroes, something like that. I feel like that is true to some extent but maybe the people that are my heroes aren’t famous enough to be douchebags. Everyone that I’ve met so far, they’ve been very lovely and I just enjoy my time so much with them.

You can listen to Grief & Calamity out on all platforms now.

Written by Chloe Gonzales | Featured Photo by KC Jonze