“What’s really interesting, too, is listening to new music that makes you feel nostalgic or sentimental, even though it’s your first time listening to it.” By this point in our conversation, us being the only occupants in Lizard’s Liquid Lounge on that Friday afternoon, I had turned my recorder on and off three or four times as I sat with Sabreen – misleading myself to believe that I was comfortable with an endpoint in our interview. “I’ve been coming across so many songs lately that have been making me feel like, ‘wow, I know this—I feel like this has been a part of my life before’, even though I know it’s my first time listening to it. I hope somebody will come across a song of mine and feel that way towards it.” 

Over the past few years, Sabreen Alfadel has been writing and performing under the moniker Girly Pants, a project that has become a known facet within the diy show circuit in Chicago. Growing up in Amman, Jordan, Sabreen began a YouTube channel to post videos of cover songs, either ones she loved or as gifts for people she cared for, that she would mostly learn by ear in her bedroom. Once enduring a complete cultural shift when she moved to Chicago after high school, Alfadel began to double down when it came to writing her own songs, as well as pushing herself to perform more frequently throughout the city. After the release of her debut EP Nurture in 2024, Girly Pants now has a steady band, consisting of Carter Ward (guitar), Drew Emerson (bass) and newest addition of Luigi De Col (drums). 

As Alfadel continues to write, discussing new avenues she would like to take her process, there is a clear understanding of how far she has come. Girly Pants isn’t a project that sifts through the fragments for bits of nostalgia because it’s comforting or expected, but rather embraces a documentation that is interchangeable with Alfadel’s growth as a musician and as an individual. Rearing the old videos she posted from high school, covering emo songs and rocking a Teegan and Sara inspired haircut, it has become something to be cherished in her eyes. And as we closed out our tabs at Lizard’s, it was clear that Sabreen knows that there was no rush to put an emphasis on any ending, because there is always going to be something to look back on. 

We recently got to sit down with Alfadel to discuss Girly Pants, embracing the past, developing a creative language amongst her band and a horrifying experience in the ocean. 

This interview has been edited for length and clarity

Shea Roney: So I want to start our conversation ten years back to when you began your YouTube channel of cover videos when you were about 17. When did you begin playing music and what were your initial intentions behind these videos? What were the initial reactions to these videos? 

Sabreen Alfadel: I was a big sports girl growing up — big track and field person — but I always loved music. My older sister would show me so much cool music. “Doll Parts” by Hole was one of the first songs she taught me how to play and it was such a rush — being able to play a song that you love is a high that I have chased since. I can’t even explain it. It’s one thing to really love a song, but it’s another when you can actually play it. So I quit track and broke my parents’ heart.

I didn’t really have any intentions with my YouTube channel. When I moved to Chicago from Jordan after high school, I was super lonely and homesick, so I was trying to spend the time doing something that mattered to me and that made me happy. I have these memories of being in my apartment learning all these songs and posting them on YouTube. Not because I thought they would blow up, but, one song I posted, I woke up one day and it had all these comments and views, I was shocked — it felt cool that people cared, or were at least interested. I was able to formulate an online community that eventually transitioned to an in-person community. I went to so many shows, met more people and got involved in the music scene. I really love learning songs and I’m really grateful to be playing lead guitar for Carter’s [Ward] band, for example. I love his music. It’s cool, let’s learn more songs, you know?

It’s as simple as that. 

It’s as simple as that.

As you talk about building this online community, when did it start to become a part of your life in Chicago? When did it feel like Girly Pants was a manageable thing that you created and could utilize?

Honestly, my birthday shows were a huge part of it. The first birthday show I did was a Weezer cover show, and it’s been a tradition ever since. We’ve done a Coldplay cover show, and then it was a Pixies cover show, and this year it’s going to be something else. At first it used to be a private show for people in my life, and we’d pack my friend’s garage with all these friends. And then it transitioned to a more public event. I want to see how long I can keep this tradition going, just giving homage to playing covers.

As much as I do love covering songs, I feel like sometimes my identity gets lost in that. People care a little bit more about the fact that I can cover songs well versus write my own music. So sometimes it’s easy to get muddled with that, but I don’t want anyone to dictate whether I still cover songs or not. I’m not doing it for anyone but myself. I enjoy it and it’s a growing experience for me. 

You do have the receipts to show for it. When did you begin to pivot towards writing your own music? 

I think when I was meeting a lot of musicians that I admired – we would jam and they’d ask, ‘do you have your own music?’ And I’d have to say, ‘not yet, no.’ I found myself constantly saying ‘I’m working on it’. I genuinely was, but imposter syndrome is such a disease. Especially playing with people you look up to. I’ve always had voice memos on voice memos on voice memos, a Mount Everest piling up, so I slowly started picking at them. As I was meeting more musicians, I was feeling more like, ‘I want to show you that I don’t only cover songs. I have my own ideas too’.

So, as you’re stockpiling ideas, was there anything that you found you were embracing more when it came to your own writing? 

Something I really, really love is jamming to a song. I love to sing, but I really love to step back and jam with the band. Sometimes a chord progression is too good, and I don’t want it to die super fast. I want it to linger, I want people to sit with it. I’m working on new music, and I’m hoping to incorporate that a little more. It’s fun to see a band on stage feeling connected with an instrumental part of a song. Sometimes when I sing, I’m focused on the lyrics too much, and it takes me out of it because I’m multitasking. That’s kind of why I find myself closing my eyes most of the time when I’m singing. Genuinely, if you go on my YouTube page and look at all my thumbnails, it’s all me with my eyes closed. Photos that any photographer takes of me are never interesting because it’s just me with my eyes closed [laughs]. I can’t help it. But it’s nice to have those moments with a crowd where we’re all sitting on a feeling together. It’s a special experience.

Taking that experience of, I guess we can call it being in the zone, jamming with a band — do you bring songs just in ideas and then jam them out to see which way you could take them, or are they more fully flesh out?

This recent song that I wrote, it was really authentic how that one came about. I was in the practice space with my drummer, and we were talking while I was noodling. I played a progression and then I kept playing it while we were talking. He jumped in with drums and then we did that progression for a few minutes. I recorded it on my phone, took that progression home and expanded on it. So, it’s a mixture of feeling a progression together and seeing what we can add to it, or me bringing my song ideas. For my EP, it was definitely like, ‘here are the songs, learn them’. But I’m excited to do more and jam authentically and see if we can expand on an idea. I think this new song is my first five- or six-minute song, so it’s kind of nice to be a Phish band now [laughs].

I can imagine that you guys have kind of developed a language between each other, which has got to be a lot of trust within the group.

It is a lot of trust, and it’s such a different experience than my EP, which was a collaborative endeavor in a different way. I didn’t have a band at that point, so I recorded all the guitars and sent the demos out to friends who live in different cities. They sent drum and bass stems back and forth and we made it happen. I love collaborating, but sometimes I get nervous about committing to a specific way of doing things. There’s a multitude of ways to do something, and it’s exciting to keep things fresh. So I guess my new exciting thing is finally having a band together. I don’t want to compare any of the new songs that we come up with to the EP and that process — even though that was a special process in itself, and I’m really proud that I was able to achieve that — but it shows that there are so many ways to do it. Why limit yourself? 

When you released the EP, how was the reception in the community? Was Girly Pants defined yet, or were people like, ‘oh, shit, that’s the girl from YouTube’ or ‘she’s the one who throws those epic birthday parties?’

I was playing as girly pants for solo shows, which is still very special to me. As much as I love playing with the band, initially I started playing guitar by myself in my room in front of a camera. And even to this day, when I come up with ideas, the first thing I reach for is my acoustic guitar. It’s been fun jamming with my electric guitar, but my instinctual reach is for my acoustic. Playing those solo shows still has a special place in my heart. There’s something really vulnerable about sharing a space with people who are just watching you and your guitar, and there’s no distraction. It’s nerve-wracking, but it’s really fun, and I find it really exciting still. So yes, Girly Pants was defined to some extent, but not officially until the debut EP. That was something that I could refer people to, so it’s not like they’re watching me play solo shows and then I disappear into the abyss, you know? I feel like YouTube people were really surprised, especially when I released that music video for my song “Ocean.” That made me feel like I can definitely keep doing this and I never want to stop.

I guess, in the context of where you began performing by yourself in your room to video, there was a built-in audience in a sense. When it came to actually performing live, were there any connections within these separate places for you as a performer? Was it a challenge to shift? 

It’s different for sure. When I play in front of my camera, if I mess up, I can restart it. Live, you notice when you mess up more than anybody else will. Nobody really can tell, but it’s such a learning experience in itself, being in a situation where this is the experience I’m going to give you, whether I give you a perfect first take or not. Having eyes on you is… different. I feel like I can’t bring myself to look at anybody when I perform, which also is why I close my eyes sometimes. But I’ve gotten to the point now where I’m more comfortable, and sometimes it’s nice to peer out into the crowd and see people smiling. 

After your debut EP, you filmed a music video for your song “Ocean” while visiting California, as well as going back home to Amman. Can you tell me about that experience and what that meant to you at that point in your life, now as a certified songwriter.

Put in that I rolled my eyes just there [laughs]. 

Oh, I definitely will. 

“Ocean” came so naturally, honestly. And that was a newer song on my EP. It actually was a result of me almost drowning in California – it didn’t finish the job [laughs]. My best friend, whom I went to high school with in Jordan, lives in California, and I visit her often. On one of my recent visits, we were swimming, and I thought I knew the ocean pretty well – I never think twice before going in, but I really got my ass served to me. I got pulled under by a wave and was finding trouble reaching the surface. Every time I kind of reached the surface, I got pushed back down by another wave, and it felt like wave after wave. I couldn’t find my footing, I was choking, and it was really horrifying. I felt betrayed by the ocean. 

Because you were friends.

We were friends. I thought we were. [laughs] Just a backstabber. But I remember getting out of the ocean completely rattled. I went up to my friend, and I was like, ‘so I almost drowned.’ And she laughed. Her first reaction was that she thought I was joking… 

Because you’re such a jokester?

Put in there, another eye roll [laughs].

Jesus Christ [laughs]!

It was a learning experience for me. So, I traveled back to Chicago and the song came really easily. And then I went back to California again and we planned a whole music video. We filmed all the scenes of me by the ocean in an hour and a half or something, and my friend asked, ‘okay, you want to do the drowning shots?’ I was like, ‘you realize that the song is about me drowning, right? I’m not going to do that’ [laughs]. Then we wanted to add some more footage to it, and we happened to be in Jordan around the same time, so we walked around Jordan taking shots to see what we could add to it. It was just friends hanging out. I was really, really happy with how that video turned out, and I’m so grateful to my friends for lending their talents in editing and shooting it. It was such a gift. A gift of friendship and betrayal. The full circle.

It’s almost biblical. 

Yeah, it kind of covers all grounds of life, if you think about it. It’s not about the ocean. It’s about life [laughs].

I guess in the grand scheme of it all, now having your own music out in the world, are you able to watch your old videos and see growth both musically and personally? 

It is cool to see the progression. I’m such a sentimental person, sometimes maybe a little too sentimental. I tend to live in the past a little more than I do in the future. I’m a very emotional person, let’s put it that way – it’s nice to have another source for nostalgia, and to have video evidence of different chapters in my life. It’s almost like a tattoo, except I don’t have to see it on my body ever. 

I’m excited to continue growing musically, and it’s mind blowing to actually see my guitar playing improve. I have like nine songs that I’m hoping to put into an album eventually. It’s both exciting but daunting because remember what I said about commitment? It’s a sick, sick circle. I’m so ready to release an album though. I feel like this EP has been such a nice, simple introduction for people, and I’m pumped to dive into a new process for my next release. 

Scroll for more photos of Girly Pants

You can listen to the debut EP Nurture by Girly Pants out everywhere now. You can also catch Sabreen playing lead guitar for Carter Ward.

Interview and Photos by Shea Roney